Struggling to be understood

I sincerely believe that having a child is a test on your relationship with your significant other. Jesse and I have been through some difficult situations together, from moving in together to having our baby in less than a year. Not only were we getting used to living with each other but we were now parents to our little one, so just imagine two strong personalities butting heads and let us throw a baby in the mix.

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For a few weeks Jesse and I have been going back and forth about how “You don’t know what it’s like to be at home with the baby all day” and the argument of “Well how can you function at work with only a few hours of sleep?” with replies like “You get out of the house more often” and “at least you are able to nap when she does”. When we had these arguments it was almost daily and I felt like I was about to lose my mind. I felt like he was constantly misunderstanding me and not putting himself in my shoes. I remember that I was washing the dishes and I was thinking, wouldn’t it be great if he could to stay home with the baby to understand me and probably vice versa? Oh, sweet baby! I wanted that moment to become a reality and it did.

If you haven’t read my previous post, my grandfather passed away two months ago and I spent the entire day taking care of my family. When I was on my way to drop my mom off at the airport I said to her, “I just realized that I’ve been away from 8-5 like if I was working, I hope Jesse is ok with the baby”. Natalia had a rough night and Jesse and I were running with only 4 hours of sleep and I was feeling for him.

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When I finally made it home, I saw Jesse folding the laundry and boy did he looked tired. He told me that Natalia never went down for a nap and that she didn’t let him do anything. Back of my mind I was like SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I BEEN TALKING TO YOU ABOUT! Ha-Ha, but let’s be honest I didn’t say that. I felt bad for him and I noticed she was ready for a nap so I put her down in her crib and Jesse felt relieved. We both sat in the living room and for the first time, he expressed how thankful he was for everything that I do. I finally felt appreciated in my own home. It took months for us to get here but rather late than never.

I’m not going to lie, running with 4 hours of sleep and not being able to rest or take a nap was hard. I’ve seen Jesse run under only a few hours of sleep for a few days and somehow he still manages everything perfectly. He would tell me “I’m fine, I’ll take a nap during lunch” or “I’ll take a 30 min nap when I get home” which is never. I don’t know how he does it, to me he is Superman because when I don’t get sleep, I ’m that typical cranky bitch that no one wants to be around with.

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Since then our fights have diminished greatly and yes we still argue but it’s not as often. We both promised to be more empathetic and of course im not perfect, I need to learn not to be selfish and to understand that he too needs time for himself. In this family it’s all about balance and to remember that we love each other and we are each other’s cheerleader.

Do you relate to my story, let me know in the comment section below.

Thank you,

Sandra.

One thought on “Struggling to be understood

  1. Néstor

    Moving in with a significant other can be tough at the beginning. It’s all about learning to respect each other more along the way.

    Like

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